Hurts beyond belief

It’s been a really tough year. A year of more downs than ups.
I was particularly upset with the way how a man I liked for 8 years has been cheating behind my back with so many women. I lost my hope, trust and faith that I had in many things. It’s a tough struggle to trying to get that back
I have a great family and a job that keeps me secured (note that it’s not all that interesting). On the outside, I am an attractive woman, dresses well and is of a good standing in the society but my life is in shambles.
He has been so nice to me and my family. I was even thinking of marriage with him, something that I never thought before. Just as I started bringing him around to tell em, this is my bf and my would be husband, I got the news from a closer friend of mine that he know the gal he has been sleeping around with. << this was under my block>>
I was shattered but my mind almost immediately knew that it was over between us. I confronted him and he admitted to it. Later he said the most dreadful things like I had no common interests with him and that I never put in effort to get along with her jerk friends. He even told me it’s my weight! That I became unattractive. My heart sank! I have never been fat. I piled on a lil when I had an abortion. Yeah you heard it right... abortion.
I know it was a sin but I had to weigh on the situation. My dad was in hospital, I am not married, not financially stable... how I could bring a child into this world.
Somehow I feel that all this is my fault and that no men can ever love me again... I know deep down I have to love myself first but I don’t think I can anymore feel so miserable.