"I dunno what is bothering me"
Haven't we all heard of this... every other from every other person, esp from women.
Somehow, when we go shopping, we know what colour suits, what perfume we want and what book to grab but we never know what is bothering. or do we?
I think one of problems is that we do not like to acknowledge our true emotions. We assume that if we forget about it or stop thinking about it, it will go away. It does not work that way...
I keep saying this but i DO know what is bothering me..My insecurities...
I am sure u know yours... come on... think about it.
Sit down, meditate, run, job, dance or whatever to calm your mind , keep yourself happy to find out what is keeping you happy or bothering you.
Monday, January 11, 2010
Saturday, January 09, 2010
Hurts beyond belief
It’s been a really tough year. A year of more downs than ups.
I was particularly upset with the way how a man I liked for 8 years has been cheating behind my back with so many women. I lost my hope, trust and faith that I had in many things. It’s a tough struggle to trying to get that back
I have a great family and a job that keeps me secured (note that it’s not all that interesting). On the outside, I am an attractive woman, dresses well and is of a good standing in the society but my life is in shambles.
He has been so nice to me and my family. I was even thinking of marriage with him, something that I never thought before. Just as I started bringing him around to tell em, this is my bf and my would be husband, I got the news from a closer friend of mine that he know the gal he has been sleeping around with. << this was under my block>>
I was shattered but my mind almost immediately knew that it was over between us. I confronted him and he admitted to it. Later he said the most dreadful things like I had no common interests with him and that I never put in effort to get along with her jerk friends. He even told me it’s my weight! That I became unattractive. My heart sank! I have never been fat. I piled on a lil when I had an abortion. Yeah you heard it right... abortion.
I know it was a sin but I had to weigh on the situation. My dad was in hospital, I am not married, not financially stable... how I could bring a child into this world.
Somehow I feel that all this is my fault and that no men can ever love me again... I know deep down I have to love myself first but I don’t think I can anymore feel so miserable.
I was particularly upset with the way how a man I liked for 8 years has been cheating behind my back with so many women. I lost my hope, trust and faith that I had in many things. It’s a tough struggle to trying to get that back
I have a great family and a job that keeps me secured (note that it’s not all that interesting). On the outside, I am an attractive woman, dresses well and is of a good standing in the society but my life is in shambles.
He has been so nice to me and my family. I was even thinking of marriage with him, something that I never thought before. Just as I started bringing him around to tell em, this is my bf and my would be husband, I got the news from a closer friend of mine that he know the gal he has been sleeping around with. << this was under my block>>
I was shattered but my mind almost immediately knew that it was over between us. I confronted him and he admitted to it. Later he said the most dreadful things like I had no common interests with him and that I never put in effort to get along with her jerk friends. He even told me it’s my weight! That I became unattractive. My heart sank! I have never been fat. I piled on a lil when I had an abortion. Yeah you heard it right... abortion.
I know it was a sin but I had to weigh on the situation. My dad was in hospital, I am not married, not financially stable... how I could bring a child into this world.
Somehow I feel that all this is my fault and that no men can ever love me again... I know deep down I have to love myself first but I don’t think I can anymore feel so miserable.
If i am naked, i deserve to be harressed?
NEWS FLASH: BIKINI, MEN, GROPING, SCREAMING The Siloso haressment... the gal in the pink bikini getting groped by 4-5 men and wriggling on stage like a worm in distress and people gathering below the stage to grab photos and waiting for something to slip..
Now that you saw the video, tell me what you think.
So if i am there, at a beach party, in a bikini plus i am drunk that equals to HI come grab me?? i am available for grab and go???
COME ON PEOPLE.... this is so insane..
Just cause we are women, we are expected to wear the right things,say the right things, behave like a civilised woman,not wear clothes that will reveal my boobs or my butt.
Can all of you tell me that if i cover up, i wont get groped.. i wont bet on that..
When someone wants to touch you, they will no matter what the fark you are wearing..
This brings up a whole lotta issues and it is about time that the society at least reacts to it instead of sitting on our arses and hoping for it to go away.
Now that you saw the video, tell me what you think.
So if i am there, at a beach party, in a bikini plus i am drunk that equals to HI come grab me?? i am available for grab and go???
COME ON PEOPLE.... this is so insane..
Just cause we are women, we are expected to wear the right things,say the right things, behave like a civilised woman,not wear clothes that will reveal my boobs or my butt.
Can all of you tell me that if i cover up, i wont get groped.. i wont bet on that..
When someone wants to touch you, they will no matter what the fark you are wearing..
This brings up a whole lotta issues and it is about time that the society at least reacts to it instead of sitting on our arses and hoping for it to go away.
New Year with a mighty pain in my heart and a burden my spirit!
"get the lord on board cause you gonna need it"
I heard this as i was about to write this post....
i so think I NEED god too but sumthing in my heart is preventing me from moving on.. I cannot sit still, i seem to cry when i have free time,my mind keeps racing... non stop..
I was and still am thinking that something is very wrong with me....
Been through a bad break up after eight years,coping with a job that i m losing interest in,struggling on with family responsibilities, hate myself for the way i look or made myself look. I dunno...!!!! my insecurities are flooding my mind and i m drowning in myself...
Yeah, i know its a new year but that does not mean my doubts and fears will vanish right!!!
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